Pluto’s Not a Planet?

So Pluto’s not a planet now. Have you heard the news? I’m so sad, I’m singing the Ex-Planetary Blues. Some fancy schmancy scientists, in fancy schmancy schools, Said, “Pluto doesn’t fit our fancy schmancy planet rules.” And so I hope you understand why I am so irate. There used to be nine planets, but […]

Comparison

My dad’s a little bald up there, Just like my baby brother. Each time the baby grows a hair, My dad loses another. Although I guess that’s not quite fair, ‘Cause dad has hair that grows. It’s really just too bad that where, Is in his ears and nose. My baby brother likes […]

Humpty Dumpty 2.0

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. They should have found Humpty a doctor, of course, Instead they decided to call in a horse. A horse may run fast or have a flowing mane, But it sure ain’t at medical school where they train. Who cares if a horse […]

Jobs

Now in the country of East Glob, When kids are in first grade, A super duper, very big decision must be made. Each of the children must decide, With no help, on their own, The job that they would like to do when they are fully grown. And from that very day they […]

Earth Day

The planet Earth is really, rather ancient, don’t you know, It was formed four and one half billion years ago. Now if you could shrink all those years into twenty four hours, And somehow could sit through that time using some special powers. Then you would have a long, amazing, and special Earth Day, And […]

The Great Rubber Band Diet

A famous diet doctor, who was known throughout the land, Said, “You’ll look great–and lose much weight–if you eat rubber bands. “You see, they have 10 vitamins, and special minerals, “And eating them will make you thinner guys and thinner gals.” And then he started selling books, about the special diet, And paid some […]

Psst. There’s a secret in this poem

How much can I interest you, In quite carefully searching through, Dumb poems for a missing clue? Do you think that it would be fun? Examining lines one by one, Not knowing if your job is done? Many words you read and sing, Exist with more than one meaning, So it is worthwhile inspecting, […]

Nothing Rhymes with Orange

Well “orange” is a word you cannot rhyme, Unlike berry, cherry, grape, or lime. You can make poems ‘bout most any fru-it, But try with orange and you cannot do it. You will not grapple or pull out your hair, Trying to rhyme apple or rhyme pear. Felons will not put a big kibosh, […]

Sonnet to a Peanut Butter Sandwich

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? My nutted paste found ‘twixt slices of bread. More sticky than mid-August in a way, If with the sweetest jelly thou art spread. And what are summer days without the heat, When heaven’s orb the whole earth doth enfold? Yet without toasting, thou art still a […]

In the Grass

Something’s slinking in the grass, Now I wonder, should I pass? Are these really scary things, Kind of sneaky, coiled in rings? Even when a train I’ll miss, Somehow I must avoid that hiss.