The Ballad of the Barracuda

Deep inside the ocean, deep inside the sea,

A vicious barracuda is now trying to get me.

He won’t get me in the water, or when I’m near the shore,

Instead he’s got an evil plan that’s full of pain and horror.

 

He’ll wait until one night, when the stars are bright and fine,

And slowly swim and slip inside our town’s main sewer line.

And shimmy right up to our house, through pipes that aren’t heated,

And bite me on my “throne” when I am comfortably seated.

 

And so I hardly ever drink, and never eat a bite,

For fear of what will happen in a not too distant night.

And now my friends all think I’m strange, and ask me “What is wrong?

“Why do you make that face and keep your legs crossed all day long?”

 

I guess the barracuda thinks it’s fair and only fitting,

To try to bite me there, right in the place I do my sitting.

Because one day while swimming, something did me frighten,

And I did my sitting business in the place he does his bitin’.