Slightly Altered Song

(to the tune of: Sing a Song of Sixpence)

Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye,

There are many things you shouldn’t bake into a pie.

Don’t make pies with blackbirds,

Don’t stick your thumb in, please.

For goodness sake, don’t try to bake,

It with nine day old peas.

 

In fact, there are so very many things you shouldn’t do.

Don’t sleep under haystacks,

Don’t live in a shoe.

Please don’t marry seven wives,

Or go steal a pig.

Or live inside a pumpkin shell unless it’s very big.

 

Don’t ask sheep if they have wool,

Remember they can’t talk.

A dish and spoon can’t run around,

They can’t even walk.

Cutting tails off blind mice,

Is oh so very mean.

And I suppose you shouldn’t bite the nose off of a queen.

 

While we’re at it, please don’t plant your maids all in a row.

Rocking cradles on a treetop isn’t safe you know.

All these things are crazy,

Or were last time I looked.

And if you try to do them,

Then your (mother) goose is cooked.