Pluto’s Not a Planet?

So Pluto’s not a planet now. Have you heard the news?

I’m so sad, I’m singing the Ex-Planetary Blues.

Some fancy schmancy scientists, in fancy schmancy schools,

Said, “Pluto doesn’t fit our fancy schmancy planet rules.”

 

And so I hope you understand why I am so irate.

There used to be nine planets, but now there are only eight.

Pluto is a planet in the books upon my shelf,

And in the solar system model I made by myself.

It’s in all of the lessons taught to me by all my teacha’s

It’s in “My Very Eager Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas*[1]”

 

But that wasn’t good enough for scientists you see.

They made a bunch of new rules up. In fact, they made up three.

“A planet must be big,” they said. “So big that it is round.”

“Its orbit must circle the sun. No other way around.”

“And third,” they said. “A planet must be oh so very good,

“It cleans up every single thing inside its neighborhood.”

 

 

You see, it is this third rule that got them all so annoyed,

‘Cause Pluto hasn’t quite cleaned up each rock and asteroid,

In a path 22 billion miles ‘round the sun.

Gee, I wonder if those scientists would think it fun.

 

To tell them…

 

“Pluto is much bigger, sirs, than all of you combined,

“So now you are not scientists. I hope that you don’t mind.

“And although some of your heads are quite big and fat and round,

“The circles you are running in are right here on the ground.”

 

“And so you cannot look at any moons or any stars.

“’Cause some of you have not cleaned up your rooms or dirty cars.

I hope that that would teach them. I hope that they would see.

I hope we’d make them cry inside their university.

 

But then, I guess that Pluto won’t cry planetary tears.

It knows it’s been a planet for at least 4 billion years.

And still will be one many, many years from now I trust,

When all those fancy scientists are planetary dust.

 

 

 

[1] *”My Very Eager Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizza’s”  is how I was taught to remember the planets in order: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto.