Martian Girls and Neptune Boys

Part I: Martian Girls

They say Martian girls,

Grow bright purple curls,

From all twenty-nine of their scalps.

 

They have half a nose,

On each of their toes,

And yodel like they’re in the Alps.

 

They’ve two orange teeth,

With scales underneath,

Their spit’s made of tar, black and thick.

 

So if you should kiss,

A young Martian Miss,

You might find your lips don’t unstick.

 

Their hair’s made from wires,

Their ears look like tires,

Their nose, it is shaped like a gun.

 

Their legs are like logs,

Their knees look like frogs,

And croak “Clementine” when they run.

 

And across their belly,

Are hooks smeared with jelly,

That each can hold one lovely purse.

 

And so it’s quite clear,

Why most every year,

A Martian wins Miss Universe.

 

Part II: Neptune Boys

Oh the boys from Neptune,

Make the Martian girls swoon,

With tentacles all long and wavy.

 

And their yellowish eyes,

And their chins like French fries,

And breath that smells strongly of gravy.

 

And the spikes on their backs,

Which can ward off attacks,

And ear moss all perfectly styled.

 

And the fangs and the gas,

You can smell as they pass,

They drive those red planet girls wild.

 

From the gurgling noise,

You can tell Neptune boys,

Are crazy for Martian girls too.

 

And no sight can compare,

To a Mars/Neptune pair,

Holding claws as they slosh through the goo.

 

If you see them, you’ll think,

With her eye-stalk all pink,

Resting tenderly on his green shoulder.

 

As most everyone sees,

It is true that beauty’s,

In the glowing eyes of the beholder.